So, you’re curious about Fetlife.com—that kinky corner of the internet everyone whispers about but few openly admit to exploring. Maybe you stumbled on it while looking for a community that gets your particular flavor of freaky. Or maybe you’re just wondering if it’s a legit site or something you should delete from your browser history ASAP.
Let’s dive in (consensually, of course).
Fetlife.com describes itself as “like Facebook, but for kinksters.” In practice, it’s a niche social network built for people interested in BDSM, fetish play, and alternative forms of sexuality. Launched in 2008, the platform now claims over 11 million members, 96 million user-uploaded videos, and thousands of events.
But that’s the point—it’s not about showing off your brunch pics. It’s about finding your people, your playmates, your tribe, or so they say.
Fetlife is free to join and use, but there’s a paid membership option that unlocks features like access to videos and longer activity timelines. It’s not flashy, but it does what it says: gives people in the kink world a place to connect and talk openly, if not always tidily.
On Fetlife’s own site, the reviews are glowing. Members call it life-changing, praising the community and connections they’ve made. One user writes, “This site has gifted me friendships, experiences, growth, and connectivity through the many years I've belonged.” It’s clear that for some, Fetlife feels like home.
But outside the platform, reviews are a lot more mixed.
Some long-time users still speak highly of it—one person said, “I’ve been on Fetlife for about 20 years now. I have never had anything but great experiences there.”
Others are far less impressed.
One frustrated user wrote, “Absolute trash, zero customer support whatsoever. They keep locking my account for reasons that are very unclear.” Another complained that the site is packed with OnlyFans promotion and fake profiles, saying, “Almost no one wants to meet in person anymore. Too many 'photographers' and self-promotion. It’s straying from what it was supposed to be.”
In short, some people love it, others feel let down. Whether you find community or chaos seems to depend on your expectations—and maybe a little bit of luck.
If you’re ready to move on from Fetlife, deleting your account is pretty straightforward.
Just log in, head to Settings, scroll down, and hit “Delete Your Account.” After confirming, your profile will be placed in a deletion queue.
But here’s the catch: your data isn’t instantly wiped. Fetlife gives you a 7-day grace period in case you change your mind. During that window, you can simply log back in, and the site will ask if you want to cancel the deletion. Say yes, and your account will be fully restored—nothing lost.
If you don’t log back in within that week, your profile and all related data will be permanently deleted.
Some users have reported slow or no replies from customer support, so if you hit a snag, patience (or persistence) may be required.
Fetlife is highly likely not a scam. It’s a real platform that’s been around since 2008, with millions of users, active discussion groups, and real-world events. It offers what it claims: a space for people to explore and discuss kink, connect with others, and participate in a niche community.
That said, it’s not without its issues. The interface is dated, moderation is inconsistent, and user support can be frustratingly unresponsive. Some users also complain about spam, fake profiles, and people using the platform more for self-promotion than genuine connection.
So, while it may not be a scam, whether it’s useful or enjoyable really depends on your expectations. If you're looking for respectful community conversations, local meetups, or kink-related discussions, Fetlife can be a fit. But if you expect a polished platform or dating-style interactions, it might fall short.
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